She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
