you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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