Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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