Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
