I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
