i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just found puke in my bra..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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