are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
