Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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