whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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