Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
