you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
