No awkward lesbian experiences without me
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize