if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
