I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
two words...techno handjob
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
