Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
