If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize