is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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