she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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