I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
