Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
