I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Even my vagina gasped.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
