i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
