we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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