wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
