I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize