Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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