people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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