you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
