Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
