Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
