member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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