I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
