my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
