One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
is that a dick in a sweater?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
