I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
