New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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