my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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