my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
