I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
