he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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