I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
