omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
