Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
