So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
