it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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