True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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