I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Randomize
