Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
