Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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