It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think your dad took our porno
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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