I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize