Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It's blow job season.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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