his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
