READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize