The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
