the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
