I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
