Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
