I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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