Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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