I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Let's get the cat blown out
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
