no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
