Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
