super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
