I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize