WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
