names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
