At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
