You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She needs sedatives and a leash
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
