I heard we made out
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
