worst night to have a conscience
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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