I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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