I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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