Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize