There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
