it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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