I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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