Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Randomize
